Depression, Family, and School

This is my first post, so it probably won’t be great. My depression grew into major depression once I started (community) college. My first semester I got all C’s, but my second semester is when I couldn’t even get myself to go to class. Eventually I had to drop all of my classes, and tell my mom I haven’t been going to my classes because of my depression. I can’t remember exactly what happened but she was definitely upset and disappointed. I started going to a therapist which seemed to help a little, but my mom thought it should’ve instantly cured my depression. I didn’t sign up for classes the next semester, and that brings us to this semester. I went to class for the first few weeks, but once again I can’t bring myself to go to class. Maybe my brain can’t make sense of all the information in class, but while in class all I can do is fidget. It’s a burden to just sit there for three classes for a total of 4 1/2 hours just fidgeting and feeling uncomfortable. So I stopped going to class, I lie and say I go but in reality I just go to IHOP and come back home and pretend I went to class. Some days I can’t even bring myself to leave the house so I just lay in bed. This morning my mom saw I wasn’t in class again so she barged into my room and started swearing at me, she said she can’t fucking believe me, and that she’s tired of this shit, and some other profanities,then leaves my room and slams the door shut. She claims that she understands my depression and wants to help when I talk to her about it, but she’s lost my trust about this. I think I’ll always be a disappointment in her eyes. She probably wishes she had a normal son. I’m sorry I can’t be normal, Mom.